It has been one year since my engagement broke off.
Time flies! I can’t believe a year has passed since that fateful day. Over this past year many people including my own family have looked at me with sympathy. Some have even blamed me for various reasons. There have been days I had exploded with emotion, shouting and screaming at people who were close to me. This has helped me realise who my true friends were as many have judged me, even deserted me. Today I have broken all barriers and I can proudly say this past year has been the best year of my life; and that is all thanks to my breakup!
There is a quote from author and preacher Billy Graham that says:
“God never takes away something from your life without replacing it with something better”
I believe that if God takes something away from a person it’s for their own good. Maybe that thing would have caused them harm. I believe God saved my life by ending my engagement. I would have suffered if I had married my ex. I would have been more of a servant than a wife. God saved me from that suffering; and just as the quote says He did replace my pain with something much better. He gave me pure genuine happiness! Happiness that did not depend on someone else; happiness that is purely generated by my own inner self.
During the first couple of months after the breakup I was devastated. Everything was booked for the wedding when I had to cancel all plans just one month before the big day. This didn’t push me down. It only encouraged me to rebuild my life, to start from the bottom, to be the best person I could be and that’s when I started to climb. I slowly started climbing the invisible steps of success from ground up rebuilding my life; one step at a time.
This climb helped me reconnect with myself. Through this journey I have realised that all this time I have been doing what others wanted me to do; including getting engaged. I did it more for my family than for myself. I never had the need to date or the urgency to get married. I have always believed that God would send us the right person at the right time and we, humans need not go in search of that person. It was God’s job and when the right one came along we would just know it. No one is capable of doing God’s job. However my family thought differently. I was pressured with proposals and that is how I met my ex; through family contacts. Looking back over the last year I am happy to say this situation has turned around.
My parents do not pressure me on proposals any more, and most of all I am not that girl! After everything I have been through, I have finally learnt to say one very important word – No! Today if I don’t like something or don’t want to do something I reject it. I don’t do things just because it’s going to make someone else happy, and I am definitely not going to change who I am for what someone else wants me to be.
As I climbed these steps gradually; with all the ‘me’ time I have been having, I have managed to reconnect with some of my old passions while introducing myself to some new found hobbies. I have reconnected with one of my longest lasting passions; my article and story writing (Fearless Dreamz is proof). I have read more books this year than all the past years since I started working, combined. I have also realised that I absolutely love ballroom dancing. I thank my best friends from the bottom of my heart for introducing me to this world of dance. I have also realised that I love designing and photography. I have managed to enhance my God given talents, and today I have a good steady job and also a secondary source income that I love. This also supports me in keeping up with my finances since I am still paying off loans I had taken for the so-called dream wedding that never happened. This has made me independent.
That’s not all. Through this journey I have realised that I’d much rather be single than marry the wrong guy. I would never change myself for a guy but instead would hope the right person would accept me for who I am. I know my parents would disagree with this since they always complain about me not being able to cook and how I need to learn, or I would never find a guy. The point is if a guy is looking for a girl to love then he wouldn’t care about her cooking skills or anything else. He would accept her for who she was, as a partner and not as a servant who would cook and clean for him. The more a guy behaves like a gentleman and treats a girl right, the more a girl would love him back and do anything to keep him happy.
As I look back from where I was one year ago to where I am now I can’t help but smile. I had jumped all hurdles, I had passed all barriers, I had achieved all goals and there has always been one person constantly guiding me, backing me up and I should thank Him above all. He is Jesus Christ.
It was Jesus who stood beside me when my engagement broke off. It was Jesus who helped me through rejection. It was Jesus who guided me to the stairs. It was Jesus who helped me take that first step and it was Jesus who held my hand and pulled me up at times when I had almost given up. It was Jesus who fought all battles for me. It is Jesus who is still walking beside me, guiding me every step of the way. He has always been and forever will be the voice in my heart. He is my voice of truth!
For a girl who ended an engagement on a day like today one year ago I never thought I would say this; but this has been the happiest year of my life! I have had the strength and courage to turn my life around, to rise through the crashing waves and to stand above all rocky edges. For this I thank Jesus, and this Christmas I offer my life back to Him. I ask Jesus to use me in reaching out to people just like me and helping them through me. Behalf of all the gifts He has given me, this year this is my birthday gift to Him. Happy Birthday Jesus! Thank you!